About Me

Why did I decide to create Unconditional Connections?

The moment I saw a 13 year-old girl in my classroom with a house arrest ankle monitor, I knew the challenges this child had been facing hadn’t just begun. They started earlier. The moment I observed a 5 year-old in my classroom displaying signs of anxiety and already lacking self-esteem, I knew the challenge started earlier.

Through these moments, many other challenges as an educator, and my own experience as a mom, I learned that parents and caregivers have an incredible influence on a child’s growth and development. Not only physically, but psychologically as well. When I became a mom, I was able to observe daily, how my actions were impacting my son and I knew I had a responsibility to learn how to do this parenting thing well.

A few months after my son was born, I discovered Janet Lansbury and the Respectful Infant Educaring (RIE) philosophy. I could not get enough of it. I was incredibly intrigued by everything Janet was teaching me about childhood development. The wisdom and patience she displays are enviable. I loved her research-based approach to parenting and knew it was exactly how I wanted to raise my son. I had never before been taught to think about infants and toddlers in the way she teaches. I wanted to share all of her wisdom with every new parent and memorize everything she said and make it come out of my mouth at just the right moments.

But I couldn’t. At least not all the time.

It felt awkward to say some of the phrases she suggested at times…disingenuous. Like this wasn’t me.

I was convinced this approach was the right way, but how would I share this with my friends, without judgment for where they were at in their own journey?

It took me months to keep practicing, but eventually the ideas and scripts sunk in and began to feel more natural. I saw myself changing and embodying this new way of being all with her support. I’ve now listened to probably 100+ hours of Janet Lansbury’s Unruffled Podcast, the Your Parenting Mojo Podcast, and several others in the conscious/gentle/peaceful parenting space. There’s a lot of great ones out there.

I knew I had found the keys to raising a happy, healthy, emotionally intelligent son who would grow up to have strong values and a lifelong connection with my husband and me.

Then came the toddler years…and it all got so. much. harder.

Respectful and peaceful parenting is hard work. But, I was dedicated to parenting without yelling, shame, corporal punishment, timeouts, rewards and I knew that even though it would be hard, it would be worth it.

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Before I go further, I’d just like to say, I know what it feels like to struggle to maintain your values when things get hard. To feel completely overwhelmed. To feel like strangling someone. To question my parenting and want to resort to the above-listed strategies because it might be “easier” in the moment. I am not perfect. Yes, I’m now a parent coach and have formal training and practice, but I’m still a mama just trying to balance all of life’s craziness and keep toy trains from getting stuck in my hair again (see photo below).

Even though this type of parenting can be really hard when you weren’t parented this way yourself because you’re creating a new pathway and don’t have a lived experience to go off of, I can assure you, it works. And it gets easier over time. The feelings of overwhelm, anger, and frustration become less frequent when you understand why they are coming up and what to do about them.

It works to create that secure, lasting closeness and connection that you desire. It works to reduce the tantrums. It works to keep you feeling empowered, but without regrets.

Can you imagine what it would feel like to set a boundary for your child, be able to keep it without yelling or punishing, support your child through their angry tears, and then have them hugging you 5 minutes later? all while you feel confident, calm and collected?

That’s just one of the incredible gifts that empowered parenting can give you.

If you aren’t sure about all of this, reach out to me. I encourage your questions, doubts and fears.

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I wanted to learn so much more so I could continue to grow as my child was growing and changing. I became completely intrigued with childhood development and neuroscience and wanted to share everything I had learned with my friends, family and anyone who would listen. I knew this was the way I would make a positive impact on the world.

Because those challenges that 13 year old and that 5 year old were facing? They began because of a struggle at home. Such is the case with many challenging behavior patterns we see in children. It starts with us — parents, grandparents, caregivers — not the children. The level of security we have within ourselves, our ability to regulate our own emotions, our perceptions, our thoughts, determine the level of security we are able to create within others.

So, I humbly signed up to become a certified parent coach through the Jai Institute for Parenting.

Through the certification process, I came face-to-face with many of my own struggles, past and present, when I went through the same 12-week program I coach others on for myself. But I came through it with so much confidence that I was raising my son well, and knowing which areas I really needed to improve on. It was a beautiful gift. I was also able to not only add several skills to my personal parenting toolbox and learn how to do what I love — help other parents and caregivers to create connections of unconditional love in their own families.

If you want to get your family off to the right start, I’d love to support you.

If you are struggling with your kids, it’s not too late. I’d love to support you.